ANSWERS

Its just a wonder how much one could think when they want to. Lately thinking has been on my mind. I thought loads about everything. If this is meant to be. If i was meant to stay in form 6. If it is so, how come i don't see my future with it? I hate it when i started thinking this way. I should be grateful for what is laid in front of me now. I have great family who supports me in whatever i want to. I have great friends in school even when i don't really know whats on their mind because i don't really know them. What more can i ask for? To be honest if i had the chance to, my question would be "This is it? Why? How?" But somehow i know deep in me that i am the only one who can answer all of it. Why am i not even trying to answer it myself? Why do i keep on pushing things away? Why do i just kept thinking but never really do anything about it?

After a long time of thinking, i realized one thing i MISSED the most in life these past few months is to talk about how i felt. What i think. Or maybe to express what i feel. That is isn't a crime to HAVE A BAD DAY. And for people to UNDERSTAND that it is okay to FEEL that way. It sometimes got me thinking to, why do people around me get to do so and i don't? Why cant they not give me the same understanding and encouragement like i gave them? I know i SOUND selfish and all but hey i am a human too. I've got feelings. They got feelings and i never treated them like its a crime to feel that way. Isn't if fair to do just ONCE the same for me?

But then again I KNOW that AT THE END, NO ONES PERFECT AND I WILL ACCEPT THEM AS WHO THEY ARE NO MATTER WHAT. And the fact that I AM NOT PERFECT EITHER. Lesson learnt today is to be PATIENT and ACCEPT ANYONE and EVERYONE as WHO THEY ARE.
p/s:cant wait for holidays! I am coming back home! :D

LOOVE AND MISS YOU BOTH ANDREAWONG & BEVERYRACHEL

A little solitary for today and a whole new chapter for tomorrow :)
xoxoxoo
AMBER(:

Stay Beautiful

School. Is the word for this blog(: As much as i previously said how awkward school was.. Well it still is. But the difference is that now i have friends. Helpful, annoying, cute, pretty, funny, honest, helpful, talkative and all sorts of friends, they have a different heart, thoughts, voice & size, but they all live in a small place called Labuan. :) Its great to know how people here can be soo different from places i've lived and been. Lets talk a little about school and subjects. Well, I am currently taking Economics, History, Business, General Studies, Malay & MUET. Economics can be hard at times especially Microeconomics. But its because our teacher uses his book a 1998 publisher and we are using 2010. So in advance we don't really understand what he's teaching but after all its easy if you read and understand and assignments done :) History is the most tiring among all. Assignment given in every single class!! :O My hand and fingers ache just to finish the assignment given. Business can be fun IF and only if teacher is in a good mood (: She's after all very nice towards us (: General studies well for me by far the best! I've got to learn allot in general studies and its such a great subject because it made me realize the important of general studies (: Getting to know my countries and all things general :D Malay is okaaay. but i somehow still wish if only there was Literature :(. Overall studies are treating me well.

Yeap so this is how i look like every morning

Generally, i've been selected as a school prefect and its quite interesting how prefects are chosen. :D hah well i guess that's my luck!
Having good time here with studies, life and friends but well deep inside i miss KK. I miss my Andrea & Beverly. (: I cant wait to see them as soon as i can! <3 u both!! And to my current close friends Fasyah & Vivi, THANKS for everything :) Stay close!

To both Andrea & Bev, Take good care of yourselves and I LOVE YOU! <3

felt like talking

Awesome is the word for today. Not only that my journal i doing fine but i had a great time with orientation today in school. Well even though it was disgustingly dirty but i m pretty sure i had ALL the fun! :) heeeeeee. What made me even happier today is that i m actually talking to my best friend. Thats when they say internet connects. Its true. What my bestie comments it really felt like i am talking to her. They way we used to. This blog i dedicate it to her.
  
Andie, i know that what you say is true. Someday somehow we will be apart and we must be ready for it. And i TRUST you when you said that you'll try your best to keep the bond strong because i will too. Promise. I really believe God has prepared us for what is lying ahead of us. The fact that He made us apart now really did tested how much commitment we put in order to still keep our friendship alive. It don't matter how late you keep yourself update but Andie your advise will always be enough to keep me going and plus Bev's advise, I KNOW I AM ready. Andie, you will always be the one i know i can count on and the one that somehow just know whats on my mind. Sometimes i wish i could do more for you. To be there like you've been through for me. To know you well as well as you've known me. :( But i know for sure, when we are apart you'll always be in my PRAYERS. Together with Bev. You both will be in my prayers. Always.

Take Good care of yourself. and know that i enjoyed every of your comments and it REALLY felt like i m talking to you! Loove you!

To Bev, i really wish i could do much more for you to!! I love u! Take care and keep me updated. You know how much i care! Because if you don't know, well I DO CARE!

ps. I M ALWAYS A CALL/TEXT AWAY! <3

xoxox
AMBER your fugly princess. ALWAYS

RESPECT

As time goes by and as school is starting. I am appreciating what God has in store for me in this year. I have made PROPER friends. Friends whom understands the meaning of friendship. It has been a tired and gruesome week as we prepare ourselves for this Friday's Teachers day. Well all i have to say is i guess this whole week, it made me realise who my clique are and how to be a good leader. Its all about responsibility and respect. Nothing has changed in me i guess its just that i will always stick to my perspective that i will respect you if and only if you have respect me back. Friendship is about understanding and listening. Not talking without proper induction before making some statement. I have learn't a lot this week, seen a lot and i believe there's much more for me to explore, understand, see and hear :) One thing for sure i have in mind for today is RESPECT!

Have a little solitary, respect and smile! xxx AMBER. Love you ANDREA WONG & BEVERLY RACHEL
Meet my new friends :) awesome~posem people!

Meet my close friend. Fasyah and I (:

Timmy Yee :) Very pro in P.A system

Another of my close friend Viviana Benedict. :) Sorry, picture sideways :(

Ayub, Jaynal & Rafiq

New school :)

Rafiq and i

Syadiqin, my other close friends, So theres 4 of us, Dyqin, Vi, Asyah and me :D

Asyah, fasyah kitash pergish sekolash :D

Busy doing bunga manggar :D

 Enjoy!
Love always; amber (:

ODD

Okay soo today i started going to school by my self. My mind was ready and i was prepared to make new friends. It was during the first period that we were asked to go up front to introduce ourselves. The moment i said my name and where my previous school was, everyone stared at me as if i came from some alien school and place. They start calling me ORANG PUTIH (white) because i was tall and very fair. I used to like people calling me that but somehow today i found it annoying and i felt pretty left out. :O The fact that no one seems to speak English and i tried speaking Malay, yet everyone seems to try really hard to converse in English with me. But sad to say, i don't even understand what they are saying to me when they spoke English. I was stared by 77 pairs of eyes today as they were about 78 of us in Sixth form through out the period of 8.30am till 12.30pm. :O

God save me. Have mercy on me. I sat with two weird people today. One Chinese girl who seem to only speak Chinese and stare blankly with mouth wide open! And on the other side, a girl who kept on staring at herself in front of her pocket mirror. All throughout the session of orientation. According to the teachers whom i don't even know their names said the orientation will last till Thursday. Well what more can i say but i wish orientation will be over soon and we get our lasses so i can make PROPER friends.

God please make Thursday come faster and tomorrow a better day than today. Yet i still THANK You for a not soo bad day (: I guess I've had enough for today! *sighs* Another day again tomorrow. All i need is

A little SOLITARY, a  little FAITH and a little COURAGE

SMILE. (:

p/s I LOVE BOTH OF YOU AND I MISS YOU AND YOUR COMPANY. ANDREAWONG,BEVERLYRACHEL ilove u :O

The Time Is Here

My time of doing nothing and not studying is finally going to be over  by Monday! :D I am going to start school in Labaun, SMK Labuan. New school, new friends, new environment and alot of new stuffs. Nervous and excited should describe how i feel now. OMG! I still couldn't believe myself. I made a big step in to a new life. I guess everything is changing :( Sadly enough I'll be leaving my friends and KK for 2 years! TWO!! :(( WOW. But one thing I'll never want to change is MYSELF just to fit in with the people and culture here. Its odd that no one uses English as their mother tongue. Not that its bad but its because my MALAY is HORRIBLE! :( Ohh well, what more can i say but to just move ahead and keep going for the better of my future :)

So what I've learn't, i guess is that people and places will change but Gods plan for our future will never change. Sometimes His plans comes by surprise and we will never expected it. But in the end it will end up good. Yes they will be heartbreak and struggle through the process but in the end when you look back, its all worth the struggle and pain. And if you are wondering how am i to know this. Let me just say, its the best thing that have happened to me :) and i know there's more to come in my future :D

Again have a little faith, smile and a little solitary!
P/S HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
I love both my besties :)
For life besties we will be :)
xxx
AMBER

THE JOURNAL

Seems like today to me, this year is going to be different. Went to school for M.A.K. Met all my teachers whom are really nice to me. The difference was i went as a ex-student. It felt weird and i felt guilty that i failed to help my bestie to take her awards because our name was close to each other. :( I M SOO SORRY. But other than that, i am now currently writing a journal about life and stuff of me and my 2 best friend. So that someday when i read it, i will always remember this year 2011. The year that might bring alot of changes in our lives and already are. I miss my best friend in USA. I seriously miss talking to her about sooo MANY things. Anyway, this Journal.

Hmm this Journal is called THIS JOURNAL BELONGS. I know it sound all plain and stuffs but it means alot, it means it could belong to any of us. Continue writing it and it will mean something. Its our journey from 2011 onwards. With pictures and journeys from all 3 of us. Maybe also about others around us. The events that has been happening in our life. I hope to continue writing this journal till the day i die, so that someday someone might read it and know what friendship is like and how we cope with it, so that they'll know that no matter how far we are from each other we try our best to be close to each other. And that is what sisterhood and friendship are all about. So that someday they will continue this journal for me about their friendship and sisterhood. This journal maybe a thing that i start because i was bored and i've got nothing else to do, but i tell you this, its something you'll never want to miss out doing in your life.

Start writing a journal atleast for yourself or do it, maybe like me for friendship and sisterhood.
So that someday when you feel like reading something, read it and read it from the start, i promise you,
IT WILL DEFINITELY MAKE YOU SMILE

Soo have a little COURAGE, have a little FAITH, have a little SOLITARY in life.

p/s i miss u guys both. still no matter how close and far we are from each other.
xxx
AMBERSTORIES