Saying Goodbye

I guess it is normal to say goodbye to people whom you just met or knew. But it is definitely harder to say goodbye when it comes to close friends and really good time.

Tears fall this semester not for a guy and definitely not for falling in love, but for a good friend that I have made. A friend for life. Reading her blog this morning because I had nothing better to do as the cleaner cleans the house, made me realize how much I missed her and how I wish I had more time spent with her. I miss you so much Rebecka

I felt the lost so much since the day she sent me off to the cab as I took my flight back home here in Borneo. Up until today, I feel like I left my heart at Sunny Ville, with the Sunny Ville family. I couldn't believe all the things I have done this semester with every single one of them. How much I loved them and how much they meant to me. As a saying goes, you never knew how much it meant to you until you lose it.

I guess I never really lose anyone, just missed everyone so badly. I hope my next Europe trip wouldn't be to far off now. I will see them again soon. Travel the world and maybe meet them half way.

Thank you for every moment spent and I still couldn't believe you guys have left. Because in my head, every single memory is still fresh and feels like it's only yesterday that I partied, dance, eat, hang out, shop, sleep over and had so much fun with all of you.

My last day with the beautiful Rebecka

Julia and Filip

My dance team

Again with them dance team

Henna my beautiful Finnish girl

I miss you soo much Becka

Steffi my dear, who came to Borneo. Thanks for making me feel like no one is leaving yet

We will travel Europe together. I promise

With our body guards ;)

Joni, my one and only Finnish guy who is so good at talking with me

Markus, summer love

Lukas, you cheeky monkey

Tjerk, gives the best hugs 

Daniel, my abang, my inspiration

Randi, my Norwegian girl 

Oskar, my big bully. But I love him anyway

Milena and Sannie. You girls are crazy

Christmas with them. 

There are so many more others, that I would put up those picture with. But unfortunately they are I my phone. I promise I will upload them again soon.
Missing you guys so much all the way from Borneo, Malaysia

xxx
Amberstories

That Night

The day I saw "him" and at first sight I thought to myself of how good looking he is. Then I start talking to him and realize what a amazing person he is. Our conversation are usually brief but very meaningful and nice. I grew fond of him each passing day.

With him, everything was nice. He made me laugh, he told me his dreams, he told me his passion. He remembers every word I said from our previous conversations. He plays and goof around and never fail to put a smile on my face.

My first heart racing moment with him was when I fixed his tie, playing "thumb" game and taking pictures with him. He had me at hello, since the first time we met but I guess I never was any part of his.

That night, I will always remember, when in my head I pretend as if he was mine, start a conversation with him, let him hold my hands, let him take pictures with me and hug him. That night, I imagine what it would be like to be really his and to dance with him. That night he made me fall in love.

The funny thing is, I fell in love, with the guy who didn't fell for me. Who treat me nice and acknowledge every hug and conversation because he knew I liked him, he knew I was falling for him. That's why every conversation with him was brief, because he knew that the longer it is, the harder I would fall for him and he knew he will never in his life feels the same way.

But I like to keep every single memory I had with him, so that I can tell myself, this was the love of my life. I never felt like this before for anyone, I wonder why and I asked God why. Why did I feel so much, when he never did and never will.

That night, I promise to make the best memory I can with him. That night I knew, I gave my heart away once again.

And that night I knew, I will never be his.

Until we meet again. Stranger

xxx
AMBERSTORIES

Seek Adventure. The brave of heart

Live life.

Being officially 21 years old, I thank Him for this beautiful thing called life. The people I met and the relationship made. Nothing could replace the feeling of being love. I finally understood the meaning of  being loved not just by the love of your life or family members, its just the queasy feeling when you actually really feel so much love around you.

Its hard to put it in words but I did feel the big thing LOVE.

One thing learnt is that we got to live our lives! 

Krabi travels: 

 Happy 21st

xoxxo

AMBERSTORIES

Time and Distance

Has anyone of you ever wonder, why time and distance could cause so much pain? Or is it because you or someone else is not fighting hard enough? 

Maybe life weren't meant to always be perfect even if you make it to be. A little dissapointing to say but life aint easy even when you try to always be positive. 

I thought today that its time i let everything go. And if i am gone today, tomorrow or whenever, that i will know the ways of life, accept it and be glad to say in my mind that i've done this thing called life! 

xoxo

Amberstories

Scoliosis

Scoliosis

A term often heard and familiar with. I was first diagnosed with it last year. October 10, 2013. And here is my story;

Vulnarable, another word used to describe the state i am in now. Yes everyone would say to me, be strong Amber. Dont let others know you are suffering and dont use your suffering as a way for you to be sympathize. 

What i have to say here is that NO i dont want to be sympathize and i dont want anyone to know how much pain i endure every single day especially not the ones i loved. 

I just wish i am not vulnarable. Less emotional and and less sensitive of everything around me. To be honest, i am happy when people around me are happy and people i love are happy. Its okay if i have to be unhappy and its okay that i loose a little freedom for myself just so they could be happy. Because i am happy!

Life is though. Sometimes i ask Him why does everyone that i love with my heart or start loving with my heart somehow end up leaving? Why do i have to constantly watch the ones i loved leave? 

Have i not have faced everything enough on my own? Maybe i am meant to be alone for awhile now. I am an attached person. I like being around people that i know and are comfortable with. 

People come and go. I am just one of the lucky ones who have to face it the hard way. 

One thing in life for me is, that, when the day comes for me to leave instead, i wish and pray for everyone i've loved and lost and who leaved that they will be happy always and lived a life they've dreamt of. 

Till the day that i die, i wish you all the happiness and love. 

Because with that i am happy and loved 

Amberstories

Gone

If i am gone from this world tomorrow, know that i love you

If i am gone from this world today,

know that i love you too

And if this world means that you and i were not meant to be,

Know that in my heart you are meant to be

Sometimes life takes us by surprise and i hope i brought a little sunshine into your life

As you took away the darkness in mine. I loved you, i love you and i forever will

xoxo

Amberstories

Sports & Other Things

Hey there bloggers,

At one point in every swimmers life, we would come across a point where we no longer want to compete. We would swim but would not compete. 

As a "retired" swimmer as i am, i was asked to compete in my country university sports competition which is held every 2 years. SUKIPT as it is called was a big event held especially for all undergrad and grad students to shine especially in sports. 

Competing in 3 swimming event with 1 individual event i couldnt imagine myself winning with the fact that i have stopped training for 5 years. In other words, i didnt win and same goes to my relay team but we were proud to compete with olympic and national swimmers. 

The experience is something i'll never regret and meeting new friends and old friends makes the competition a memorable one :) 

Thank you God for everything and USM for the oppurtunity. 

Up next is to train hard for my upcoming event. Once a swimmer and always a swimmer. I guess i never really quit swimming afterall.