Decisions, heartbreak, understanding, life

So here goes to my results which is utter disappointment and a life not in order but in control of someone else. Just when we thought the people whom we thought might understands us turn their back against us. Decisions of where to go for my future and stuffs. I wish my dad is here just to tell me what to do and what is best for me. I MISS HIM. I just want him to take me out for dinner and talk like usual about everything. I know i still can do that. But the real thing is he is no longer there to answer me like he does for 17 years of my life. There goes again to decision. I cant make.

Heartbreak? Yea.. did i actually really fell  in LOVE with someone? I guess i did. I almost gave my heart then i realise he wont give me back his heart because it wont work? I have been putting effort, sometimes i dont talk just to see if he does talk but no surprise, he never did start a conversation. I guess its over. There goes to my 1st heartbreak. Then, I am leaving England in less than a week now. Another heartbreak.

I am trying. trying really hard to understand alot of things that are happening in my life right now. I wonder if it meant anything. I guess it doesnt. But sometimes i feel it does. I dont know. Understanding was easy for me when i had someone close to explain it to me. Tell me on our journey back home what it meant. My best~est friend. Now, he is gone. Physically gone.

I guess this is what life is all about. I've got God and i've got myself.

Today, take courage, take challenge.

A little solitary, a little L.I.F.E